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Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
(be strong)
You'll break it
(hold on)
You'll make it
Just don't forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can't do
No one can stop you, you know that
I'm talking to you

Young girl don't cry I'll be right
here when your world starts to fall

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
--> Well yes

Lol. I am so biased. So many questions i’d have answered otherwise before i meet Tom. Damn! Hahahaha.

Maybe it is a message from God.  I have been praying every night, pray that Tom’s exam will go smoothly, pray that Tom will be my Mr. Perfect, pray that i will have my Mr. Perfect.

And some feelings become very significant. Some doubts arises. I asked him, he assured me, but it’s the first time i still feel so insecure.

And guess what, i asked him again, he admitted. He lied.

So, is god telling me he’s not Mr. Perfect?

I don’t know what i should do.

This is not a small lie. It’s a lie-after-lie for 3 months.

3 freaking months.

I don’t know why i feel like forgiving him. I really love him.

But so what? How many times can i endure this?

I need someone who can do things. Who can be initiative and motivated. If i forgive him, how about next time? Do i have to force him all the time , or remind him? I don’t like to do all these… I don’t like to nag people, i really don’t.

So, it doesn’t matter whether i forgive him or not.

What matters is :

1) Whether he can change

2) Whether i believe he will change

3) Whether i can endure it if he doesn’t change.

I know, i cannot believe and imagine life without him now. Everything i do, i will think how he’d feel. I will consider from his angle. He is included in all my plans.

But, i know i am strong.

If he is not the right one, why do i wanna stop the right one from comin right?

If he’s not the right one… i ‘m sure i will have someone else…

I have to be brave enough to make a decision.

But it is not going to be impulsive.

So, i will decide after fifteen (15) days, on 30th November 2009.

By then, i will know. Whether he really can change, whether he really can make a difference, whether i am really ‘’that’’ important to him for him to do something.

I know i can feel it if he’s doing something. I know.

I will pray to god, and hope that god will show me what i should do.

I hope he’s the right one…. …. but, so what? I can’t do anything. No one can do anything, except him.

And he doesn’t know what he does/ doesn’t do will be that important.

I promise.

I will be brave enough to move on.. alone.

15 days.

Seriously! If only you know what i did!!!!!

I can’t tell you what i did, but i can tell you another small thing that i did.

I made his youngest brother stalk him to see if he’s studying. His youngest brother went into the room and came out and told me ‘’he is on his laptop. Maybe he is studying cos there are sheets.’’

I made him to take another look and he said he doesn’t want to because he just sat down =.= Lazy.

BUT, after 1 minute, Tom came out to collect his printing from the printer and the printer is beside his youngest bro, so he IS studying. =)

This is one little thing that is not worth talking about. I did something really huge and touching, BUT I CANNOT TELL YOU ALL NOW!

Wansien said she has been stalking my blog but i don’t really update!

So, tell you what! You want it, you get it =p *wiggles eyebrow*

I am going to blog about how smart my camera is.

I recently bought a Sony Cybershot T90.

IT IS SUPER CLEVER, either that i am super frog in the well.

Wait lemme change my font first, i cant see what i m typin =.=

Yes, my camera.

DAMN CLEVER ONE LOR. Ok face detection is normal right? Smile shutter is normal right? BUT MINE, it can distinguish between old people’s smile and kid’s smile! and then, you can set your focus on detecting kid’s smile or adult’s smile!!!

And, if you don’t want it to detect too small smile, you can set the sensitivity to, big smile, medium smile, small smile. So for example when i am cam whoring obviously i don’t want to make big big smile like an idiot right? So i will set the sensitivity to very sensitive so i just have to smile a lil bit and then *snaps* =p

And what else, oh for those pro friends who are super good with camera, they know how to take good pictures, and my camera is obviously cleverer than me! Because it enables you to set the setting like you’re taking ‘’food’’ , or ‘’fast moving object’’ , or ‘’firework’’ or u want ‘’soft background’’ or u want to ‘’focus on distant scenery’’ or u want ‘’close up photo’’ or u want ‘’extreme close ups’’

DAMN SART LOR! And also other than these, there are soooo many modes, like there’s iauto. If you use i auto, it’ll automatically change mode, as in, with flash or without, and adjust the light if u don’t want flash. For me i am not the flash type of person and if night time i use flash i’ll go blind when i am vain-ing. So, that day me and a friend went out at night and we took pictures in his car, so he was like ‘’hey you need to turn on the flash, if not cannot see’’, then i just said ‘’i doubt it. it’s so clever it’ll probably do the job for me altho i set it to permanently no flash’’.

Yes, not surprisingly, it has some sorta portrait light or something, so it is VERY bright =D

And, that day i was in car right, then it was very very sunny that day, i looked at the camera, and it automatically switched to ‘’backlight’’ or something. Maybe because too sunny? =.= Don’t know lah, then when i turn it the other way, not facing the sun, then it switches to iauto and antishake again!

VERY CLEVER HOR!

AND MOREOVER! This is the part i like most. I am not that type of ‘’studio photo’’ person, i DON’T NEED my photos to all be 10 MB or shit like that. OR SUPER BIG I HAVE TO RESIZE EVERYTHING BEFORE I CAN UPLOAD OR SEND IT TO FRIENDS, annoying man!

This smart camera allows you to CHOOSE the resolution you want. It tells you exactly what the size will be and how big will each picture be, and how many pics you can take if you use this size and stuff like that. TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR FOR IDIOTS LIKE ME, it tells me exactly, like if you choose this, this will be like A3 size paper, that one is smaller, like A4 size, yada yada. SO GOOD!

AND ALSO!

U know how you wanna download youtube video and you curse a lot bcause they are so damn big and brunei connection so damn slow right? When you take videos using the camera, THIS SMART ASS CAMERA FREAKING allows you to adjust the resolution as well! But they didn’t use some high tech word like, (i don know what can be an example cos i am not high tech), they just tell you, this is suitable for dvd, this is suitable for web posting, this is suitable for yada yada…

SO COOL!

AND ALSO, nothing to do right in car?

You can edit your photos! I HAVE NOT TAKEN ANY PICS with red eyes cos they automatically will … u know la, do something to it, red eye reduction or what, i dono!!!

But, what if your smile isn’t nice enough? =p

What if you wanan blur your pimples? =p

YOU CAN DO IT IN THE CAMERA! It has freaking photoshopping tools!!!!!! And it has something photoshop don’t have! It has like freaking smile thingy, like if you are not smiling but you wanna smile, you just do something, and I DON KNOW HOW, BUT U WILL APPEAR TO BE SMILING IN THE PHOTO! WIERD RIGHT?

SO SART OKAY! SO SART!

you can basically do everything!!!

TOO SART…

Am i really frog in the well? Every cameras have this function kan??!??!

AND, if you wanna be vain and enjoy slideshows of your pics, you can do it in the camera WITH MUSIC! lol…!!!

This Sony Cybershot T90 is the best art of science i’ve seen. Forget this sentence i don’t know what i am talking about.

AND THERE ARE MORE THINGS I HAVENT DISCOVERED BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND, I WILL FIGURE THEM OUT SOON!

I LOVE MY BABY CAMERA! IT IS FREAKING SO MUCH SMARTER THAN ME MAN! ( don’t under estimate my camera because there are a lot of features i didn’t blog them out lor! I only blogged those that caught my attention and made me so inspired!!!! ) =D

LIFE IS GOOD! SONY IS GOOD!!!!

Hahahahahha sounds so much like an advertorial i think they should pay me ! (eh really bah, at least i managed to persuade some friends to buy the same camera)

OH BY THE WAY MY CAMERA IS PINK, AND NOT TO MENTION, IT’S TOTALLY TOUCH SCREEN LOR! LCD screen, no more buttons =p ALL ON SCREEN!

Hey people! I am now using Windows Live Writer to try blogging. It actually allows you to post pictures and stuff easily!

I guess it works if you’re using blogspot or other providers as well?

I have so many things to blog about…

How awesome is my smart baby camera…

Cv 2…

And loads more!

Ciao. Lets try and see if this pic works..

"Please take it easy on us. I’m not trying to make you feel bad but obviously if we could control our behaviour we would. Do you think control freaks who are also perfectionists want to look like they are out of control of any situation. We don’t try to belittle you to make ourselves feel better we do it because we’re trying to voice how we feel about ourselves and tend to transfer it to the people we love and trust the most, thinking they will be understanding. I am trying to seek help for my husband’s sake so we can both be happy and as normal as possible. I truly believe that this is more than us being “mean” or “abusive” but an actual mental disorder like anxiety. Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on a group of people without talking to them first and trying to understand where they are coming form as well. You tell people to “walk out” or to “leave the situation” but I believe that is the worst thing to do. I know in my case I appreciate when my husband explains his point of view because I do love him and don’t want to see him hurt but I also have come to conclusions in my head that “must” be the case because he didn’t react or do what I was expecting. Every time he has stopped and said “honey, I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was…” I stop trying to be in control and in turn feel comforted and nurtured which is what I’m striving for in the first place.
I don’t want to be in control and I hate that I feel I have to. I push myself into mental breakdowns and have been hospitalized for exhaustion due to pushing myself so hard because “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself”. I don’t want to make others feel inadequate or below me because inside I feel as though I am the lowest, worst person that God ever created.
If you truly love the people who are control freaks due to anxiety and self loathing, then stay by us and talk to us calmly. Explain yourself to us because we assume that our process of thinking is how everybody thinks and from what I’ve read and come to understand that couldn’t be further from the truth.
This is an actual problem in some cases, like mine. While I do not believe anyone should put up with any form of abuse at the same time if the person in your life who is a control freak is down on themselves a lot as well, they probably don’t realize it’s hurtful because that’s how they talk to themselves."

First thing i really agree about is - Many of the times we're NOT trying to step on other people and have control over them. We're just using a harsh way to make them say what they think about. I really don't like it when people don't explain bout stuff. But sometimes when i am heated up, i just simply make assumptions to make that person angry so he would say ''I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, WHAT I MEAN WAS BLA BLA BLA'' and most of the time when he tells me what he means i ACTUALLY listen and i feel nurtured as he explains. This is very true. We just want them to share their feelings and thoughts.

Second thing is i HATE to be control of things. I mean relationship wise. I really wish i don't have to control and keep in check of everything. It makes me sick the way i have to WORK THINGS OUT for them to work out. It's very sickening. I hope i will find someone who will just click and just be like my pace and rhythm so i won't feel like i am dragging someone while i am trying to move forward.

Just hope things will change soon.

• Check all that apply to you or that you agree with.

• It's difficult for you to trust people.
• You make lists for everything in your life.
• You can't stand it when you're in a car but not driving.
• As much as possible, you need to do everything yourself.
• You rarely think that you're wrong.

• You love to be the center of attention.
• When it comes to social gatherings, you prefer to do the planning.
• You get bored when you have to listen to other people talk.

• Your vacations tend to be structured and active.
• You tend to think that you know what's best for other people.

• You don't like people touching your stuff.
• When you're in a relationship, you like to know where your significant other is at all times.
• You are definitely a perfectionist - and your own worst critic.
• It's hard for you to get used to a new hair style or new pair of jeans.
• You would not really enjoy a surprise party thrown for you.

• You can't stand to wait for people who are running a few minutes late.
• You are a completely stubborn person.
• You tend to interrupt people a lot.
• You don't like taking orders.
• You don't take it lightly when people disagree with you.

• Other people's messes really bother you.
• When you're watching TV with other people, you always have to have the remote.
• You are easily irritated.
• You generally don't trust people.
• You are insulted when people don't take your advice.

You Are 44% Control Freak