ミ☆★ Çh¦åwZ^zOn£ ★☆彡

You know he loves you. You know its just really hard right now.

Yes you might say, his bro generally comes online more often than he does. But whats the frequency of his bro contacting with his bro’s gf? Far less than you. He’s really doing everything he can. He practically needs to save everything he has for Melbourne. It’s not realistic for him to keep buying phone cards or anything, and i m not sure if he wants to.

Even if he doesn’t have the intention, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It just means he’s more independent. It’s just how their lifestyle is.

It’s very different from you because when you’re outta the country, your culture tells you to call back home to report stuff everyday, but for them they didn’t even contact their parents and grandparents or anything. You know you get most contact and more contact than any other people.

Like he said he misscalls you as much as he can, but it’s really impossible for him to misscall 20 hours a day or something. It’s only possible for you because you’re so free. He told you he never forgets you anyway. He won’t.

You call him and he talks to you bout your uni stuff, he thank your friend for helping you out.

You know its not that bad when he didn’t call. You weren’t even expecting any calls until a friend of yours bring it up. Do you really want her to condemn your mind? Or do you wanna stay strong? He misscalls you. You think the relationship is not going anywhere. He told you it’s not only because he’s in Germany having his holiday, while you’re in Brunei feeling stressed bout all these things. Like he said, it’s not the right time to ‘get somewhere’, just stay there for a bit. Be independent and sort things out, and things will just be better after he gets to Melbourne or at least, gets back to Aus when you guys can have proper contact. Things will be a lot better when you’re not that stressed.

You know it’s not really because of him. You know its about you. You’re basically in a very unstable state of mind, you’re stressed out, worried, afraid. You’re not ready. You feel more insecure, and you want Tom to be there, you feel stressed cos he’s not, he cannot be. Half of the day while you’re awake, he’s sleeping. What can he do? There really isn’t anything he can do though he’s trying his best so you don’t feel lonely. He is not the source of your stress, like you thought he is. He’s only a pathway for you to vent out.

He told you he wants you to get sane sleeping hours, don’t sleep in and play some DDR, breathe some fresh air, it’ll make everything better. He said you being well means everything to him, it means more than you staying up and chat with him. He really really loves you. Everyone knows it. You don’t need his uncle to constantly tell you this, you don’t need his friends to tell you this. You don’t need his brother’s gf to tell you he’s crazy bout you. You know it. You know he loves you and he thinks there’s nothing he can do at the moment.

Just relax, be calm and approach the problem. THere’s only one problem. There can’t be so many problems. Approach the problem and after it’s solved you’d feel much calmer. He won’t be online until 8th Feb. You’ll be in Melbourne on 8th Feb. It won’t be that slow, i know you don’t want it to be fast. I know you actually feel ok not contacting him as well.

You know he wants to go to Melbourne as much as you want him to, if not more.

THere’s nothing he can do to help you get over your nervousness. He did as much as he can. There’s a law night for family and partner and he said he’ll try as much as he can to be there in time. You need a shoulder to cry on now, but another thing you need to do more is to solve all the problems instead of just feeling so out of power like this.

Let him go. It’s not bout him. He gave you as much assurances as he can. He doesn’t know you want to call him last night. He thought yesterday evening will be the last time you guys talk. But he misscalled you back. On the phone you didn’t plan on staying awake for him so you misscalled because you missed him, and he misscalled you when he’s online.

You keep telling yourself you’ll be strong once you know he really loves you. But you cannot be assured and no matter what you keep finding excuses to doubt him. Why this, why that. But its not even important anymore and what makes you think he doesnt love you? Everyone thinks he does, a lot. The hardest thing is the distance, it’s hard to communicate when the distance is half a world big.

No matter what, you shouldnt be thinking that much bout him anymore. Go on with your life first, so many things to be sorted out. Don’t be such a marshmallow.

What do i feel?

I feel that he’s not contacting me much.

Is it true? It’s not true.

I guess i only feel that because of the expectation.

I still remember when he first flew to dubai, i was sorta calculating what time will he arrive and stuff, i know roughly what time, but i didn’t really care much bout it. I just thought, ok Tom’s not around so i have to spend more time with family and friends, play games with my brother and stuff…

When he arrived (what i calculated), i sent him a text saying i miss him. He didn’t reply. I tried to misscall and it was unreachable. So i felt, ok maybe he hasn’t turned on his phone yet, must be too tired and busy.

The next day i received a message on fb from him saying that all their phones can’t work in Dubai, he’ll try to come on fb as soon as he can cos there’s free computers in the hotel.

So i felt sweet and stuff because he told me where he has been, he told me he misses me so much. He misses me the whole plane journey, he misses me when he sleeps, he misses me when he wakes up.

I felt ok. Maybe because of the security he’s given me. I didn’t expect any smses because i know their phones can’t work in Dubai.

Things are great.

Until he reaches UK. He sent me a text using his brother’s phone when he arrived, his phone got no credit. He spent all the credit texting me when he was in the airport before flying to Dubai.

His brother came online, and i asked whether he’ll come online, his brother said he will, later.

But after his brother was gone, he didn’t come online.

So that was the first time when i felt SO frustrated.

The second day i recevied a text and fb msg from him saying he can’t come online cos they had to go out and his brother didn’t tell him i sent those smses.

I felt a bit sad cos i didn’t get a long fb msg.

The third day i went out shopping with aunts.

He sent me a text asking me not to ignore him please, and he hopes i got his explanation.

I couldn’t really ‘layan’ him because the connection is so bad at HuaHo. I told him i was upset by the short message and he said cos he was worried and shocked that i was suddenly so upset.

Thats when all the expectations happen. He said he’ll send me a fb msg when he got back at night.

At night we chatted, he didn’t send, cos we were chatting, then i THOUGHT after i go to sleep he’ll send, cos he’s not gonna sleep yet.

He said he was going to do it, but he didn’t. I sent him a text, he said he didn’t have time to go online again cos his family wanted to sleep.

Ok.

That morning after he woke up he quickly sent me a msg telling me he’ll send a longer one at night when he’s back cos his brother just spent 30 minutes online with everyone waiting for him, so he doesn’t have time now.

Ok. Its fine.

THat night he didn’t send a message.

And the 2nd day i made a huge fuss out of it. Why didn’t you keep your words?

Cos i missed him so much and i really wanted to hear from him…

He said he was really tired and still having jet lag.

I told him he was chatting with his friend, he was replying someone’s fb status.

He said sending an email is much more difficult than doing all those cos he was half asleep and doesn’t know what to type. He sent me comments on my blog cos he thought i like him to read my blog.

I checked my blog and there were 2 comments.

So i angrily said, so he just read 2 posts and call it ‘i read your blog’.

But i guess, if he didn’t want to, he doesn’t have to read at all. At least he was trying to make up for it… Although it’s not perfect, its not exactly the thing i wanted him to do.

*sighs*

Thats when the insecurities all started. He is not keeping his words. Why is he still like this, why didn’t he send me those photos taken in DUbai like he said he would? His brother uploaded the photos to fb. His brother had the time, why can’t he do it?

THats what makes me miserable.

I could’ve just forget bout it. Not everything needs to be solved. Not everything has to have its ‘'punishments’’. Not everything has to be that extreme.

I want him to enjoy his holiday but whenever i text him, maybe it’s full of pressure. The words that i use is like double edge sword.

I know i do all these because i just want him to convince me and make me feel secured.

But i am texting his AUS line when he’s in UK and he’s replying to BRUNEI. It shouldn’t be that cheap. I should be like before, when i was feeling very empowered and didn’t need his texts cos he should enjoy!

THat’s what i want to do. But a part of me is so childish. I want him to make everything ok again. I want him to make an effort. I feel like, why am i ALWAYS being understanding and trying to be considerate while he enjoys all the fruits of it?

sighs.

I need to get my mind off this i guess. Maybe i am staying at home too much, online too much, nothing i can do except waiting for his text?

I should do more stuff. So that he won’t be that important.

I mean i cant just be waiting for him for the next 3 weeks right.

Its difficult for both of us.

He said he cant send me texts all the time. I can’t call as well cos it’ll be too expensive for him.

=/

2 days later is gonna be our 10 months. I wonder if he’ll remember… I guess if he doesn’t i’d have to be considerate as well eh?

I know i’ve been getting everything i want in life.

But sometimes i wonder, is it because i always force things to happen?

I don’t even know why i like law, but i forced it to happen. I insisted to take law degree.

I insisted to go to Monash Uni.

I insisted everything, and they happened.

But sometimes i wonder if it’s because i’ve been forcing them to happen.

Not enough money? I forced money.

No accomodation? I forced a decent apartment.

And i m such a perfectionist.

I want things to be PERFECT. The PERFECT house, the PERFECT course, the PERFECT country, the PERFECT state.

I am happy with what i have, but sometimes it’s just a little tiring.

I know if i just ‘go with the flow’, i will not have any chances at all. But life would definitely be much easier.

Why do i have to force to get things i want? Why can’t things just go my way?

I’m tired…

and i m scared.

THOMAS KORBER. YOU’RE WANTEDDDDDDDDD…

Hes not even online =( He is probably enjoying himself in uk…

T_T

Funny thing is, when i asked his bro’s gf whether she misses his bro.. She said, “Cath, you know it hasnt exactly been that long yet =p”. I know it’s only been 5 days and we still chatted yesterday, but i cannot leave with just one sms per day okay! T_T.

WTH is he doing over thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

T_T

T_T I miss himmmmmmmmmmmm…

Now i know how he feels when he says he really really really misses me. =(

My new blog is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOO BAD I CANT START BLOGGING ON IT FIRST!!!

IT’LL BE ACTIVATED LIKE A DAY BEFORE I LEAVE BRUNEI MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

I thought of contacting msn because i cannot find the button to ‘export’ the blog posts to the new site, but i didn’t.

Maybe i don’t want to export?

Maybe i just wanna leave what’s in brunei in brunei?

Maybe i don’t want more people to read my childish posts when i was 15?

Maybe i should have a fresh start!

Yeps.

*sighs* i kinda miss Tom, and he’s only on his way to Uk…

Still got such a long way to go… germany..switzerland..paris.. =(

Yeah i feel a lil tired now..

=/

Like whenever there’s one more small argument, i just feel like, sigh. ok.

I am surprised that i can be quite independent. I mean of course i have my weak moments but.. i think i’m handling well. I really can step out now if i don’t wanna be in here anymore.

I guess we shall all wait for another month, and see how it goes when we meet each other?

Hmmm…

I wish things are perfect.

I don’t know what happened, i don’t know why, but i created another blog just now!

The blog will be activated once i land on Aussieland =p

Trying to do stuff to it so it looks perfect.

HAHAHA.

I am considering keeping this blog.. cos its been so long.. like since 6 years ago, or more… =/

Lol. I really have to thank my instinct eh?

Every since i am with Tom, sometimes i have nightmares like for few nights, and it just wont stop, and i don’t know why, cos sometimes i am so happy everyday.

And slowly i realise a pattern. When soemthing’s bad happening, no matter if i am aware of it, i have nightmares.

Just like last time during the birthday present incident part 1, when he said he bought something online. I am not gonna elaborate into that. I had nightmares nights in a row.

And when he said he has posted it. I had nightmares nights in a row.

And when he said he has posted it the 2nd time. I had nightmares nights in a row.

I realise it during the 2nd nightmare. Like, is this a dejavu?

Thats when i realise this special ‘instincts’.

When he said he posted it the third time, no more nightmare.

When he said he bought the xmas present. No nightmare.

When he said he tried to post it but didn’t. Nightmares in a row.

I was thinking, hmm. he admitted he didn’t, i already know the truth. Why still got nightmare?

When he said he didn’t post it and will get oma to post it for him while he’s away. Nightmares again that night.

Hmm.

I tried to tell myself i was just being suspicious and probably because i am thinking too much bout it, that will explain the nightmares.

Today, i found out a truth.

And that totally explains my nightmare isnt it.

I am surprisingly calm. I thought i will cry like last time or yesterday.

I am totally calm now.

Maybe because i am not trying to control anymore?

If i have a liar bf. I can only do two things – one is to stay, or to leave.

I cant force him to change can i.

He will change when he thinks he should.

Obviously i chose to stay.

Nothing is that important anymore.

I mean i’ve been in here till now. We’re gonna see each other so soon.

I am not gonna just step out now, obviously.

What kinda relationship doesn’t have flaw.

I sorta can understand why he lied anyway.

=/

Maybe.

Anyway i am proud of myself cos i am much calmer now. Or maybe it just hasnt kicked in.

ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
do u think my restaurant looks nice or ugly? 
Tom says:
it looks nice 
maybe better if you used something other than thos walls
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
bt.. i think the outside looks ugly
Tom says:
use like the low barrier
so you can see better
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
i don wnna let anyone see the inside of the kitchen!
Tom says:
why?
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
because
a kitchen shouldnt be seen! 
i m not sure if people get what i m doing outside
im trying to portray
a used to be elegant restaurant but haunted
thats why its very contradicting, the haunted roof and the mermaid statue
it used to be the best restaurant but now its haunte
haunted
and if people are brave enough to explore the inside
Tom says:
hahaha
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
they'll realise that its actually still a restaurant!
but, things are not all good becos...
the cemetry...
so
its still sorta haunted..
and thats why they serve witches' brew
also a bit ironic because
its haunted bt its operated by human who knows its haunted
so it became part of the theme!
u get what i mean?
its not just a restaurant!
Tom says:
yeah I get what you mean 
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
but do u know thats the idea before i explain to u?

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

NOT TRUE. I AM ALWAYS HONEST.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

VERY TRUE.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

 

ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
EH
OUR TRUE SELF IS SAME
xx says:
hey ur true self same as mine
HAHA
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
hahahaha
ginx
xx says:
good larrr u
ღミ★☆Çhïåw ¥££☆★彡ღ♫♪✖a small wish...ღ *♥ says:
HAHAHAHAHAH
GINX
xx says:
u're my clone
HAHAHA

I guess this is a big mistake made by a lot of girls.

You like affection and you wish your bf could text you more often. You approached him and he said he is busy working or whatsoever. So, you try to send him less texts and hope that you’d feel more equal cos you’ll just feel sad if you text him and don’t get a reply. So problem solved, you don’t text and he doesn’t text, and you understand that he’s busy.

But how about your want? You want affections, you compromised that he’s busy. And how bout you?

You wanna feel more secure so you send him some fb wall posts and reply on his status updates, you know he doesn’t reply you much because its just not his type of thing, so you carefully chose your words and hopefully play you cards right so your reply will be interesting and casual enough for him to reply. Yet he doesnt reply. And you’re trying to compromise by telling yourself, this is just a small matter and guys aren’t good at this. At least not all guys anyway. You guys don’t have to communicate via facebook. Don’t care about it too much and just send him less wall posts so that you won’t feel unequal and ignored and sad when he doesn’t reply you.

But how about your want? You compromised, though you want security and love, you understand it’s not his type of thing. But how bout you?

Independence is beautiful.

You cannot keep wanting things to stay the same and want him to just stay up for you.

He told you he didn’t sleep well last night and is tired.

You know things are better when you are more independent.

Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean he has to stay up as well.

He has his own reason.

If you want to, you can trust.

If you don’t want to, then don’t trust. And poison yourself with the misery again.

Come on.

It’s nothing if he leaves after an hour of chatting… right?

Its nothing… right?

Its nothing if you guys don’t have much chat and you feel like theres something wrong…

Its nothing.

When he’s ready he will tell you.

You already tried your best encouraging him to tell you stuff.

He kinda went online earlier for you, you were the one playing ps games.

Not entirely his fault that he is tired. Just see if it continues. Just see what happens next. Just, hang in there and see.

Theres really nothing you can do.

Yes, you wish he can stay up for you although he is tired. Like what you normally do.

You don’t know why he isn’t committed that way.

People are all different. You can’t expect people to treat you the same way as you treat them right?

He has a lot of trust. He didn’t blame you for playing ps games.

If it was you, you’d be angry why he prioritises the game instead of you right?

He says he loves you. He’s just, having some difficulties.

You can’t blame him to feel stressed out and scared about February when everything is still uncertain.

Imagine, you want to go there in March, but do you dare to tell your parents? No. You are still thinking of ways as well, despite how much you really wish to go.

And imagine if you cannot afford it and had to rely on your family to come out with the finance. How difficult it is to approach them?

Just be patient.

You want to be independent. You don’t wanna be controlling anymore. And you know he has been trying to cheer you up and stuff, you don’t wanna drain him down again do you?

You wish him to be like before, checking you out and stuff. But have you also changed? Last time you don’t even give a damn, so you get everything. If you commit too much and always be that available, he is just going to take you for granted.

Remember how you don wanna rely on him anymore? Remember that =). Its always good to have a bf who will look for you. But who can look for you when you are forever so available?

Don’t date other guys.

You don’t wanna ruin the relationship.

He is still working hard on it.

You just need to be more independent, that doesn’t mean dating other guys to exasperate him AT ALL.

Some girls only like jerks. This struck me while i was reading xiaxue’s love story. I sorta cried because it reminded me of mine so much…

Some girls only like jerks… Some girls only like “cool” guys who appear to be “really cool”, those girls are the girls that’ll get hurt pretty badly, i used to be one of those girls, not sure if i am still, maybe i haven’t learned enough lessons.

Its sometimes hard to appreciate “really good guys” because they tend to be somewhat invisible. Like Tom. I mean, i never realised he likes me and i never liked him until we got together. I never even thought bout whether i’d like him or not before, i just chatted with him because i needed to get over someone and the emptiness in me is killing me and i just needed someone to talk to me. Someone who’d give me a lot of attention and patience.

Well obviously now we don’t chat for like 10 hours a day anymore… But it’s for good.

So, when he was doing all these to me, he liked me, and still likes me, but, i was just sorta, using him? And slowly, i realise, whenever i am online, instead of only looking for XXXXXX, i will type “Tom” in my search bar too, to fill in the emptiness. And slowly… I type “Tom” before i type XXXXXX. And slowly, i don’t even care if XXXXXX is online anymore.

But do you think it’s very easy for Tom? I’ve been in his shoes before, i’ve been in the “goody goody girl” position who “just wants to make him feel better”, it hurts a lot. That person you love will trust you, thus pouring you more bout how he loves his gf, but his gf just breaks his heart. You are screaming inside badly, saying “then just break her up and i am here for you”, but you can’t, you only can say “girls are just demanding sometimes, but i am sure she loves you and you just need to communicate with her and make her happy”, and you have to provide him tips on how to entertain his gf, and the next couple of days, he’ll come and thank you for helping out… That’s really…. what i wanted to get… So, if i feel it deeply, i know how Tom would feel, like i will tell him how i missed XXXXXX, compare him and XXXXXX and he is never pissed or annoyed, not that i know of, he just hugs and stays with me.

I guess asian girls (or generally all girls, i don’t know) will be more attracted to guys who are bad. Or at least, first impression is better towards those ‘cool and bad’ guys.

How did i actually know him…

I remember when Tom first appeared, i thought he was just 15 or something. He was just politely asking whether anyone would take him into their clan, and because i was in a hyper mood, so i said, JOIN ME JOIN ME. And after that, he was sorta timid so i thought he might just be 15 so i was patiently explaining some rules and regulations and acting to be pro by saying i’ll tell the clan leader and his name should be added in soon and i will inform him shortly bla bla bla.

After that i never really gave him my attention anymore. He has to blend himself into the conversations between me and some other friends. When i replied him i was also only just thinking “argh, maybe this guy likes me, fine i will talk to him too”. He teases me to get my attention. Teased me for being violent, teased me for being blonde, teased me for being a bridezilla or something when i used to be so obsessed bout wedding shots. I just replied him because i wanna fight him back! I asked him to be good or i will kick him. I will randomly try to be annoying by showing him some lusty pictures of women i came across online and asked him whether they’re sexy. When he shyly said yes i would say NO THEY ARE NOT, THEIR MAKE UP IS SO THICK! And i educated him what is “tube”, and whats the difference between “thighs (tights)” and “leggings”, and bla bla bla…

He was still trying hard to get my attention when i only give my attention to other guys. I would throw people in the ‘kgs’ some maths problem my sis cant solve, and he tried to solve but can’t and he typed something that could possibly be the wrong answer and pm-ed me that if he does it, it’ll make the guy who really knows how to solve answer me and it would help me anyway. I was just thinking “okay… he’s not very clever”. I was being a perfectionist and i’d prefer him to really know how to solve the probs. And slowly, he added me up on msn. I was like thinking “oh come on… now i really have to entertain you, gah nvm, sooner or later we’d stop chatting anyway” and accepted his request, and slowly he started to leave me some offline pm about whats going on in the ‘kgs’ while i am at work, who talked about me, what chats i missed, stuff like that…

And slowly, i realise, his profile page is full of my quotes and random chats everywhere…

But it still didn’t occur to me. I had too many fans, and those, infatuation-ish stuff. So i thought he’s probably just interested in me, i am interesting anyway. And i got quite a few people’s number cos i will be going to Kuching, and wanted to call people.

I didn’t really NEED his number but i asked anyway. He gave it to me. I said i will not call before he does. Never. I am not someone who will do things first, so if he wants my sms, he has to sms me first.

Later that night, i received his sms, the very first sms. “Great and Mighty Chiaw please accept my humble text!”. And few days later, he sent me another sms at night asking me whether i’ll be online, i didn’t see it till late. When i went online he was still online… It was 1 am his time.

And after that, he said he went to uni but uni was closed, he got mixed up with the first day of uni. It should be a week later. And i was thinking, “this man is really not very bright…”. He couldn’t sleep, and that night i was happy so i decided to do him a favour. I’ve never done this to ANYONE before but i went online to google blonde jokes for him. Poor Tom. Cos i am a curious cat. I can’t understand blonde jokes that time so he had to explain them! And delay his sleep more. Hahaha… I remember it was something bout dildo.

And one day, a black guy was flirting with me online, he saw it. He was being a bit rude when he told that guy i don’t like being called chia cos my name is CHIAW. And he called my house, for the first time we talked. I was quite surprised. But when the phone rang, i don’t know why but i know right away it could be him. So he happily got my attention away from that black guy. =p

And then…

I started to be demanding and stopped him from going for jogging, watching tv and hanging out with friends cos he is supposed to stay with me and make me happy when i m upset. He stayed. I didn’t think he’s that handsome at first when we webcam, despite other friends complimenting his appearance. I even told ahkid he’s not as handsome bla bla bla. Haha. Guess it was his bad hairstyle, or i was still addicted to XXXXXX’s looks, so anyone who doesn’t look like XXXXXX is ugly. I called him Mr. Bean. I said he has a smile like Mr. Bean. It was so mean. He took it. I said his eyes look like Barbie Doll. He is so beautiful he can be a girl if he wears a wig. He didn’t get angry at me. I was making fun of his cleft chin, and i said he has double chin, and he should show me his chest hair and should shave bald. He didn’t get angry.

How sweet.

And then we got together, and i caused him a lot of misery. I was always demanding for more. I was being such a perfectionist and i didn’t really '”love” him i think, that time… MOre like, i just think he’s under my possession. I mean i feel sweet and stuff, i am not sure if it’s love. I THINK i only really loved him after we ‘ve been together for like a month. But i tell him everything. It’s so easy to tell him things because i know he loves me and i know he’d wanna know everything bout me.

We are texting and talking on the phone everyday for hours. Hours and hours and hours. He told some friends that he felt sorry because i wasn’t used to the air/room/whatever in my aunt’s house so i kept sneezing. He learns my fav food’s recipe. He did all those things for me… but i still think he hasn’t done enough and kept wishing i had a better bf.

I know i did a lot for him too. Because of him i’ve lost a lot of friends who wouldn’t support us together.

And then, things started to get worst because of my expectations building up his stress. His stress causing him losing focus on studies, and my stress because i was being a perfectionist and i wanted a straight A bf. Lots of arguments. But, no matter what, he would still hug me and gimme kisses whenever we’re on the phone.

He lied to me, to meet my expectations. I was mad at him, i tried more to control him, he got stressed and lied again…

Things were so bad there’s really no way out.

Only then it occurred to me that, i was the cause of all miseries, i was the cause why he can’t stay online for sooo long anymore. I was the cause of everything, but yet he still loves me, and i am demanding that i love him more and i don’t want it. But he’s the one being patient, tolerating me…

Its not that i never tried to make this relationship work, i try hard as well. I talked to a lot of people. Tried to change a lot, but always losing to my control-freak-attitude after a while..

And then he said he didn’t feel like being with me anymore, cos nothing seemed to be working out and he’s really stressed and he longed for freedom so badly. I was speechless because, i was so tired as well… But, at the end we agreed it was a time out.

Although it was supposed to be a time out, he stayed with me, chatted with me, tried to give me affections, i was so insecure over this almost-break-up issue i started to call a lot everyday, until his parents feel i am calling too much and he still told me he’s fine with it…

It didn’t occur to me that he’s spending all he has on me. I demanded for this and that that he can’t give, of course he can’t. He’s not working, and university students are poor. Yet, he spent his savings on phone recharge cards. He skipped lunch. Most lunch he skipped. He never buys himself anything anymore. When he finally got his pay from doing some ad-hoc part-time job, the first thing he did was to buy me a belated birthday present. Although there’s a lot of miseries bout this part as well. *sighs*

I am just so idyllistic i only want and allow the most perfect things to happen to me. I kept thinking, do i really have to settle for this guy? Is this guy really good enough? He is giving me all he has, but is it enough for me?

But, i know i love him. So, i should accept who he is, and help him improve, as he helped me improve too.

Slowly, i felt less insecure because we talked a lot. He stayed up at night to talk to me. He did all he can to make me feel loved and secured. He tried to stop me from being controlling when he realised i was going back to my controlling self. He knows my flaws but still accept me as who i am. We both make a lot of effort just to make this work. We both spent a lot on each other, of course it’s more affordable to me cos i am earning a lot more than him at this moment.

After reading and crying over xiaxue’s love story, i’ve decided that i am going to accept him and our situation, and things changes. He WILL be rich, just not now, and i WILL be poor soon, after tomorrow when i quit my job. He has learnt to just be honest with me, and i learn not to rely on him on everything.

Why do girls want those egotistic guys who will give themselves 100% but only give their gf 60%? Why give up a guy who will give their gf 99% most of the time? Time to wake up, girls.

And, to be continued =)

I really do. It makes me feel better, at least.

At least i wont feel that i m pushing anyone away with stress.

I don’t know why i just can’t.

Thinking that i am going KK in few days, its not worth any cold wars or fights cos i just wanna enjoy my days in KK and call him when i can.

Because after that he’ll be going to europe for a month so theres really no point in arguing anymore.

Because after that we’re gonna meet and i don’t wanna argue anymore.

These are reasons why i shouldn’t do anything wierd and put up a quarrel.

Doesn’t stop me from being independent.

For me, independent necessarily means intentionally ignore and being a control freak i want a ‘result’.

That sucks. I should just generally wake up and don’t care much anymore, and pull out a bit. And he wont be THAT important and things will loosen up and be fine. If i can be independent that is.

Why do i feel a need to call him everyday? And more than once a day.

It must be this fish and reel thing he’s using on me.

Hmm.

Why do i wanna fall in this trap.

I shouldn’t. Too bad i am losing myself completely, thus losing completely.

I wish we’re more suitable. I don’t even know whether i should keep struggling. But, i don’t see any way out. I can’t get out. I’m stuck right here.

Having many features in common, the compatibility of Taurus and Virgo is at the top of the love graph. Both of them like to face the realities of life. They usually like to stay away from recklessness, extravagance and inconsistency. There relationship will prosper because of devotion, dedication and loyalty shown on the part of each of them. But, sometimes a sweet quarrel may arise due to the possessive attitude of Bull which Virgo may think to be smothering their feelings.

Compatibility of Taurus Man and Virgo Woman

Taurus man is easily attracted by the charisma of the Virgo woman. On the contrary, she will be ignited by the passionate nature of a Taurus man. The compatibility works well due to their individual and natural characteristics of devotion and loyalty. Virgo girl will always be attracted by emotional and spiritual nature of the Taurus boy. Except the small sweet quarrels occurring between them, everything else will go well. This relationship turns out to be a good love match on the compatibility chart.

AND...

When Taurus and Virgo come together in a love affair, it's a union of innate practicality. Both of these Signs employ practicality in their daily lives as the most efficient means to most problems. They can be quite sincere and devoted to one another; as people, both have a great deal of integrity. Virgo likes Taurus's strength and dedication while Taurus appreciates Virgo's quick mind.

Due to Virgo's naturally cautious nature, this relationship can take awhile to develop, but once it's established that both partners are in it for the long haul, it's like a runaway locomotive, running on its own power and difficult to stop. These two Signs have much in common: They highly value common sense and practicality; they're both materialistic but work hard for the creature comforts they so enjoy. Taurus is more sensual and indulgent than Virgo is; Virgo tends to be the inhibitive force in the relationship, tending not to get involved in the chaos of life in favor of analyzing all available options. Virgo's analysis leads to criticism, which Taurus can tend to take too seriously. Conversely, Taurus's stubborn nature can get on Virgo's nerves, causing Virgo to criticize even more! This pair must take care not to take one another too seriously. The good thing is, they're similar enough that they can learn to be patient with one another, especially Virgo, who loves to indulge Taurus's penchant for fine treatment and good food.

Taurus is ruled by Venus (Love and Money) and Virgo is ruled by Mercury (Communication). Both of these Planets are close to the Sun, so they're closely related though they seem very different. Venus is physical; it's about romance and sensuality, both of which are important to Taurus. Mercury is about communication and it's androgynous -- Virgo will take on the form that it chooses. Virgo is very good at understanding other people and can easily learn to be the romantic and sensual partner that Taurus loves. Both partners are so devoted and romantic, their arguments surely won't focus on those issues.

Taurus and Virgo are both Earth Signs. Earth Signs are steady and practical, concerned with possessions. Taurus and Virgo together love to surround themselves with beautiful things -- an opulent home, gorgeous artwork, classy cars. Their love of luxury and their desire to be financially secure ensure that this couple will work hard who never overspend. LOL.

Taurus is a Fixed Sign and Virgo is a Mutable Sign. Taurus is stubborn and tends to make up their mind for good; more flexible Virgo can help teach Taurus the value in bending the mind a bit -- when it's practical, of course.

What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Virgo relationship? Their dedication to working toward the same goals. Both partners enjoy luxury and nice things, and Virgo likes helping Taurus achieve their goals. Their common interests and desires make theirs a highly compatible relationship.

=)

Yeah.

Endless lies everyday.

Yes he will change. Yes he will be different, yes he really loves me.

Yes he will get it done. Just believe, believe him, be positive. He will change. Law of attraction, be happy.

When i was trying very hard to be happy, i wept.

Its so upsetting, it really tears my heart apart.

A part of me really wants to just end it, another part says ‘’why dont u change? Why dont u give up expecting ANYTHING from him at all, then you guys can still be together.”

And then the other part says “No. You deserve to be treated better, you’re being so nice, you did EVERYTHING. Even when you’re just kidding by saying you’ll send him a cake, at the end of the day when you forgotten and just recalled, you climbed outta bed and made him an e-cake anyway. Thats how much effort you can make. You CAN find someone who will be efficient, and will do things for you willingly and wont break his promises ever.”

But its just so hard…

You know how much better i felt after he calls? Even the 2nd day when i wake up, i was still quite delighted, but… All of a sudden, i will feel like i am struck because, a thought suddenly came in, and i know, he will break his promise again. He will. Its not about trust. It is about him. He just will.

And then, a voice in my heart will say ‘’well he didn’t promise he WILL do it, he just said he will, but he didnt promise. So he doesn really have to do it, and maybe he doesn know its so important this time.. So it doesn count, again.”. It always doesnt count, huh…

I really hope someone can save me from all these.

A problem about a guy not keeping promises all the time :

 

“i personally think that long distance relationships never last. especially if youre in school.If you cant trust him, do you really think that you should be dating him? I also think that you should try talking to him about the promise situation. Ask him why he does it, and ask him if he will stop and that it bothers you. and then bring up the "us" situation. ask him if he still want to see you, and keep on with the conversation about that.”

“He is showing you that he isnt prepared to keep to anything he says he will .. do you want to be with someone that can let you down and break promises he makes to you now .. it can only get worse at 2 months into the relationship and you are getting this its not going to get any better.”

“Well well well.. What you have is a guy who will NEVER follow through...You can spend the next six months being let down by this tease, never knowing what to expect, twisting in the wind, or the next six years doing the same. You are worth more. If he is like this now he will not get better. It's not that he is a monster, just not the guy for you. You can hurt now or hurt later, let this carrot dangler find someone else to confuse and go forth with your life, on your terms, never settle!You go girl!”

“My gf was complaining about that a lot earlier, and I dint really understand why when she occasionally exploded when I said 'no' where I earlier had said 'sounds nice' or 'good idea'. Now, in the end we figured out that we just speak about things differently. If she suggests that we should go to a party on Saturday and I answer 'sounds good' I mean 'sounds good, but I'll have to see when Saturday comes' while she of course hear 'sounds good, I'll come' and got very disappointed if I chose to stay at home or do something else.

Have you talked to him about it? I know it took us 2-3 arguments before we reached some sort of understanding where both have to be clearer. You have to figure out if this is what's happening to you to, or if he really says very clearly that he is going to do something and then cancels it.

If the latter is the case you should talk to him about that, it could be that the distance is to much of a problem. Good luck though.”

 

I am having problems coping… =(

Thank you for always sending angels to me when i am down.

Thank you for always giving me what i want.

Thank you for always revealing me the truth of all things.

Thank you for making me strong.

God bless me. =D

 

I am especially thankful to those friends who has helped me. Even just ‘’are you ok’’? ‘’Mind to tell me what happened?” Or those who gave me advices, long long email though i never knew they can express things so well through words *winks*, or those who made an effort to ask me out.

And those butterflies who are trying to date me. HAHA. =D Good to know that i have a lot of choices.

THank you guys so much.

I will so melt if a guy sings this to me on stage or something… *dreams*

Hey, its good to dream cos DREAMS COME TRUE OKAY!

I believe my bf will perform this song to me on stage =D So sweeeeet.

 

I can't believe i'm standing here
Been waiting for so many years and
Today i found the queen to reign my heart.
You changed my life so patiently
And turned it into something good and real
I feel just like i felt in all my dreams.
There are questions hard to answer, can't you see...
Baby, tell me how can i tell you
That i love you more than life?
Show me how can i show you
That i'm blinded by your light.
When you touch me, i can touch you
To find out the dream is true.
I love to be loved by you.
You're looking kinda scared right now,
You're waiting for the wedding vows.
But i don't know if my tongue's able to talk
Your beauty is just blinding me,
Like sunbeams on a summer stream
And i gotta close my eyes to protect me.
Can you take my hand and lead me from here please?
Yeah,yeah
Baby, tell me how can i tell you
That i love you more than life?
Show me how can i show you
That i'm blinded by your light.
When you touch me i can touch you
To find out the dream is true.
I love to be loved-
I need to be loved -
I love to be loved by you.
I know they're gonna say
Our love's not strong enough to last forever.
And i know they're gonna say that we'll give up
Because of heavy weather.
But how can they understand
That our love is just heaven-sent,
We keep on going on and on
Cause this is where we both belong.
Baby, tell me how can i tell you
That i love you more than life?
Show me how can i show you
That i'm blinded by your light.
When you touch me i can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved -
I need, yes i need to be loved -
I love to be loved by you.
Yes, i love to be loved by you

But i dont know why it sounds so sad though, i always cry when i listen to this song =(

But its sweet… and bitter, somewhat.

I mean, if i am not gonna get it on stage, at least just hum or whisper to me or something! its sooooo sweet

I am not being green. FINE i am. But i am a violet green okay. People really need to be more violet about things.

I am not saying money is not necessity cos it is. I am saying, money shouldn’t be the MAIN thing.

If you let money becomes the main thing, your life’s gonna be miserable. Yes if you’re lucky you might be able to find a job that pays you relatively more, but then if you don’t like your job, you only work for the sake of money, then you are going to be upset, because you’ll be bored at work EVERYDAY, except payday. EVERYDAY when you’re working, you keep thinking ‘ok, 28 days more to payday. ok, 27 days more.’. You’re not enjoying life, you’re not living at present.

If you stop thinking about money (anyway they gotta pay you if not you can sue them), if money is not the main factor, but interest and/or passion is, then things will be different. Everyday you will be happy cos you’re enjoying your work, you find a job that you’re passionate at, and everyday you’re expressing your passion through working, and it’s a very powerful energy. Can you feel it? As i am typing now, i can feel the energy. It’s light, and smooth, and comfortable. And at the end of the day, you earn money, and life, and happiness.

Get what i mean?

I am not good at GP, i cannot tell you how this scientist or that businessman become successful because they insist on their passion.

I’ve heard a lot of names tho, like the creator of Apple? Andddd, loads more =D.

Be patient.

Be brave to go for what you like the most, and money will come.

That huge energy will sure attract money =) Being happy and contented is such a huge force.

Can you feel that?

I hope more people can understand..  =(

I mean, i didn’t need CV to know this. I’ve had this theory myself all along. Just that after i attended CV i realised a lot of people has the same idea too, or, a lot of people can accept the idea too.

So i believe it all lies in you. There’s a hero buried deep inside your heart, once wanted to do something, once had so much confidence and courage that she/he can do that one thing. That dream. Call it up. Make it come true again.

=)

Money cannot buy happiness. Yes, money can buy materials and make us happier, but, happily earning money and using money to make us happier is double happiness no? =) I am not the most fortunate person in this world. I only get what i want because i know i want it, i have passion on it, and i insisted through all the problems and obstacles i’ve experienced. If i gave up, i’ll just be as cynical. No giving up.

Catherine Tan is 1000% certain that she will not end up with Thomas Korber. She will probably find someone who would really care bout how she feels and makes effort to treat her right in Melb.

Sadly enough.

*sighs*

It wont be so hard to get over if theres another guy who loves me that much, maybe.

Its sad.

We had a company trip in KK from Thurs EARLY morning till Sat night. It was really full of fun. It’s not a business trip. More like kindergarten 3 graduation field trip. HAHA. The only thing i dislike would be them teasing me bout a colleague *pouts*. But whatever.

We went clubbing! Yes 2 nights in a row! The first night was sorta crazy. No actually 2nd night is crazier. Actually. GAH. I shall blog from the start.

Ok, we basically went to Joanne’s room to practice the cantonese birthday song (more bout it later), and after that us young ones went Kenny Rogers for lunch together. Then after that me, Mich and Khal went shopping. But Mich was sorta in a bad mood cos she didn find anything she wanted in the first 2 shops so she suggested we leave her alone. Khal wanted winter clothes as she’ll be going to London soon for a month of vacation. So we ran around looking for coats. Later after she got herself a coat from M&G she suggested that i should dress up too for that night. She brought a dress and will be dressing up to the club. She said Mich and Joanne will probably dress up too so i don’t wanna be the ugliest one. SO FINE! Hahaha we crazily rushed to shop for a dress.

I bought this dress. Picture below (I hope).

Can’t really see eh? Wait lemme look for a full body pic.

Something like this tho i suck in that 2nd picture. Blehs.

And then we went bowling! Omg that was my first time bowling and i sorta sucked. But lots of people can’t really play as well. LOL. Well i didn’t strike any but at least my highest score was 9 down? Hahahha…

Anyway i know i played pretty badly. First round i got freaking 9 and 2nd round i got 35. Now its the improvements that count okay!

Mich played badly in the first round. She didn’t play the 2nd round as she said she’s tired and not feeling well. (There’re gossips bout it that i sorta heard but lets forget bout it)

And then, we went back for like a 10 minutes rest? NOT EVEN ENOUGH FOR US TO TAKE A SHOWER! Luckily i didn’t wanna take one! Anyway after that we went to this seafood place together. It was like 30 minutes cab ride. I was fucking having car sick. I hate smelly cabs. *pukes* I miss singapore’s cabs. Those nice uncles, friendly and shit.

ANyway, seafood wasnt bad. I dont know if i should paste more photos cos i heard my space is lagging big time. Maybe not =/ ANyway, just imagine la. Seafood.

Then it was announced that Mich cant join us to clubbing, some unhappy stuff going on. Anyway, Mich didn care as she wanted to go. But i guess she wasnt feeling well cos she was sleeping and said i MUST wake her up. And when she was awake she didn’t really wanna wake up so she said we should go first. So we did. I mean, i didn’t know there’s gonna be so many of us. Like… i know the young ones are going, and some older ones who are sporting are joining us, but some noobs were there too. Ooops. =p

Anyway, it was still funny. I sat with the young ones, siao yen is beside me and she really likes to dance as well. SO! we were like standing up while others are sitting and started to tease and drag people to dance with us and stuff. That was really fun until someone got drunk *winks*. And the organiser was being too responsible and ALL of us had to go back to sleep. IT WAS FREAKING ONLY 12ISH.

I guess i was a lil tipsy cos i kept shouting ‘’i wanna go backkkkk’’.

And after that Mel winked to me and whispered we’ll go back. But ‘organiser’ seems to know what we were thinking so she sticked herself to us and i kinda had a gastric pain cos of the drinks, i went 7/11 to get chocs and after that it’s sorta too late to go out (for me) cos it was 2ish. Anyway then some unhappy stuff happened which is sorta sensitive so i am not gonna blog bout it.

Anyway at last some people sneaked out but i stayed despite their persuasion and convince. Cos although i was still conscious i really felt that i can be drunk anytime. Lol. I know what i was doing but i cant really control it anymore. And i was sorta emotional after they left so i called Tom, it was like 4ish his time. I called him i was like Tommy Tommy Tommy TOmmmyy lets meet at lobby and go dancing. I wanna go dancing, lets meet at lobby now okayyy.

Tom : baby baby where are you?

Chiaw : I don’t knowwww i wanna go danceeee.

Tom : baby listen to me. Are you listening?

Chiaw : yes

Tom : ok. Look around. Where are you? Are you alone?

CHiaw : yes

Tom : where?

Chiaw : room. hotel room.

TOm : ok good. listen, you’re drunk and you need to sleep.

Chiaw : nooooo i wanna go dancing, michelle they all left without meeeeeeeeeeeeee. i wanna go find themmm. lets meet at lobby k?

Tom : no you don’t wanna dance baby, you wanna sleep.

Chiaw : really?

Tom : Yes you’re tired and u wanna sleep

Chiaw : Yes i wanna sleep!

Tom : okay good, go sleep ok? Its 4ish now.

Chiaw : no but i haven brushed my teeth =(

TOm : Its ok. leave it for tomorrow.

Chiaw : no but i need to remove my make up… can u stay with me till i remove ittt?

Tom : Ok walk properly.

*removes make up* *pees*

Chiaw : baby i am in bed now but i still have my bra on. Where is my bra i cant find my braaaa.

Tom : Ok you need to sleep now. Make sure your door is locked and then sleep ok? Drink some water.

and stuff like that.

after that i called xx. He said i ‘’mabuk’’ already and just stay in the room and don’t get out. I was like telling both of them, i am not drunk i still can do maths! 74 plus 74 is 148!! And they both said that has nothing to do with me being drunk or not. I am talking in a drunk tone and they are sure i am strongly dizzy and tipsy, if not lightly drunk.

So i told xx i cant sleep because i feel so dizzy.

And he was like, ‘’ok count sheep till 1000 and then u call back. You feel a lil dizzy cos of the alcohol but nevermind just sleep. tomorrow you have games right? You want to win right? faster go sleep its so late’’

Then i slept. THe next morning i called Tom again when i woke up and he was like ‘a drunk girl called me last night, no actually, VERY early in the morning’ in a teasing tone.

chiaw : oh really is she hot?

TOm : Yes she is.

=D

And yeah, we had breakfast together, of course us young ones are a bit late as usual. And then after that was briefing then shopping time. They were all tired so they wanted to go back and rest. So i met siao yen up as i wanna buy another dress and dress up again that night *winks* How can you go clubbing without nice dress right? *double winks*

And i bought this dress.

I know it doesn really show. But something like this. This was taken when everyone was so tired after hours of dancing. So sweaty and shit. I had fake eyelashes on. Mich helped me to do it. Cooooolness. ANyway yeah the dress looks something like that. It’s plain and short.

So we went to karaoke first. The usual car sick. Man i hate that. This time it was a van. Still, van sick. Such a long ride to the town for karaoke. And then our boss was like ‘’catherine, please sing a song, sing for me please?’’ Well i arranged a song but Mich never played that. So fuck her man. HAHAHA. Anyway i sang two songs. One was the.. How do i live without you song. Another one was the malay song, bukan cinta biasa. Anyway we had fun. HAHA =D po po po poker face po po poker face~ mum mum mum ahhhh.

I want nobody nobody but you~~

Funnn!

And then later we went to firefly for clubbing. This place is not as great as ice bar. But then its still not bad. Just a lil small and stuff. But we managed to get a table thank god. And i drank more than the 1st night but didn’t really get tipsy nor drunk. LOL. I GUESS I AM TALENTED.

Anyways we danced and i THOUGHT I REMEMBER what happened (details later. BTW for just now, the cantonese birthday song is for our boss’s birthday. Hes a canto so yeah. the birthday surprise was after the game so yeah).

So we had like lots of fun dancing. I sorta saw .. someone commenting bout us while we’re dancing. People in the group. FUck her too. *roll eyes*. Hahaha dont care lah. Its probably nothing personal.

Anywayyyyy.

The next day we all slept in, well i woke up at 9ish. And was trying to pretend i was drunk when i called Tom but he said its obvious that i was faking it. HAHAHA.

And then i went for a massage, i kinda fell asleep till it got too painful. The butt massaging really hurt! It was total body massage but the butt part hurts like hell! And after that i went to meet William and his colleague up and we had lunch together. And later i went shopping for books for a while and then khal called and we met up and stuff.

Oh 2nd day it was my turn to lure khal into buying ANOTHER dress for clubbing. HAHAHA. so much fun shopping for clothes tho i wasnt shopping for myself.

And yeah then just rested at lobby. Van brought us to airport and checked in, and stuff.

And then there’s this friend of hilmi, Ash asked if he could join us at starbucks, of course yes. Haha.

Then when we were ordering drinks at starbucks one waitor was being REALLY wierd and shit. Like asked me some wierd questions like, am i with that 2 guys, is one of them my bf, and i said yes and no, and hes like asking random question like where am i originally from with that awkward-instead-of-friendly look. Initially i thought hilmi/ash knows him so i went back and asked and neither of them has any idea. So they concluded the guy must have been trying to flirt and hint with me or something and i should just get my drinks for free. HAHAHHAA.

Yeah man! I should’ve realised it earlier.

And then we were casually talking bout how nice clubbing was and shit and thats when this awkwardness started…

Chiaw : so ash did you go to firefly last night?

Ash : yes i did. I introduced myself to you what!

Chiaw : you did? REALLY?

Ash : omg i feel offended!

kHal : OMG CATH.

Hilmi : OMG CATH.

Chiaw : seriously? bt i wasnt drunk!

Khal : U don remember him AT ALL?

Chiaw : …no? omg i m so sorry >< did i REALLY see u?

ash : yes we shook hands.

chiaw : ohhh… are u SURE its me? not other friends?

ash : YES I SAW YOU THERE! i am sure!

Chiaw : errr… *trying hard to recall* are u the guy wearing green?

Ash : no i was wearing checkered…

Chiaw : *blushes* I am sorry hahaha >< I was enjoying myself too much and wasnt lookin at anyone

But seriously man! I am sure i wasnt drunk, see i remember everything, how come i don remember that part? o.0

Now that he tells me, theres like a very unclear part of it in my memory that i m not sure i made that up or that really happened…

Wierd…

ANYWAY I WANNA GO CLUBBING AGAIN SOOOOOON!!! =D

It all started with, “Oh great and mighty Chiaw please accept my humble text!” sent by him at 02.03.09 at 22:35…

I lost all my messages in my inbox. Luckily i copied this down somewhere before… =D

Next year’s valentines day is gonna be so fun and romantic! =D

I’ll receive roses from a guy.

I’ll receive lots of presents.

It’s gonna be so memorable.

Thank you god.

Thank you law of attraction for making this come true =)